{"id":567,"date":"2018-10-23T19:22:59","date_gmt":"2018-10-23T13:52:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/?p=567"},"modified":"2018-10-23T19:22:59","modified_gmt":"2018-10-23T13:52:59","slug":"the-couple-that-fights-together-stays-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/the-couple-that-fights-together-stays-together\/","title":{"rendered":"The couple that fights together, stays together"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-medium wp-image-569 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fotolia-102940215-s-300x158.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"158\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fotolia-102940215-s-300x158.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fotolia-102940215-s-400x210.jpg 400w, https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/fotolia-102940215-s.jpg 628w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>If you love me, fight with me.\u00a0If you love me, yell with me. Scream and shout with me to show me you care. Shake with me and cry with me. Become exhausted, annoyed and utterly fed up with me. Dance with me in this maddening tango of love and pain.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ar bF bG bH\">\n<div id=\"ad-unit_2\" data-cb-ad-id=\"\/49944529\/elite-daily\/posts\/universal\/production\" data-google-query-id=\"CNfmhvTlmd4CFVZJKwodQC4P9Q\">\n<div id=\"google_ads_iframe_\/49944529\/elite-daily\/posts\/universal\/production_2__container__\">Slam doors, punch walls and throw dishes. Call me on the phone in a fit of rage. Send text messages of your disdain. Wake me up in the middle of the night because you refuse to let it go until morning.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Keep me up till dawn, talking, yelling, then listening.\u00a0Make the neighbours complain, and the dogs howl. Just show me you love me; show me you care.<\/p>\n<p>Show me that you&#8217;re willing to stick it out, even when you want to leave. Show me that you&#8217;re going to make an effort and fight through the pain and past the hurt. Because as crazy and ridiculous as it seems, fighting means you love me.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately for all of those next to the loud couple who fights more than they talk, they probably won&#8217;t be breaking up anytime soon. In fact, their fighting isn&#8217;t a sign of a sick relationship, but a healthy one.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>FIGHTING MEANS YOU CARE<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Fighting means you care enough to deal with the hurt and anger, rather than just walk away. It means actively pursuing a solution, a breakthrough that will make you stronger.<\/p>\n<p>No two people are going to agree on everything, and fighting just means you&#8217;ve hit a point in your journey together that needs special attention and communication.<\/p>\n<p>Relationship therapist\u00a0Dana Ward\u00a0explains, &#8220;Fighting is normal. While some couples may think fighting is the sign of a bad relationship, it is actually is very important. The key is fighting with a purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the whole idea of \u201cfight or flight.\u201d The way species adapt and evolve is based on the psychological reactions that occur when a threat is perceived.\u00a0You either stand your ground or flee the situation. Either way, you&#8217;re making a decision, one that questions whether the threat is worth attacking or running.<\/p>\n<p>The couples most in love are willing to push aside those subconscious (and conscious) desires to flee, in favour of sticking it out and fighting for one another.<\/p>\n<h3>FIGHTING MEANS KEEPING EACH OTHER HEALTHY&#8230; AND SANE<\/h3>\n<p>Gautama Buddha\u00a0once wisely cautioned, \u201cHolding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>According to findings published in \u201cPsychosomatic Medicine,\u201d Buddha&#8217;s logic wasn&#8217;t just profound, but also scientifically sound.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ar bF bG bH\">\n<div id=\"ad-unit_5\" data-cb-ad-id=\"\/49944529\/elite-daily\/posts\/universal\/production\" data-google-query-id=\"CIiIkoHmmd4CFdBHKwod81MCJQ\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>The stress you feel from holding on to anger is real. The health risks of that stress are also very real. If you love your partner, care about your partner&#8217;s health and want to see him or her happy, then fight for your relationship.<\/p>\n<h3>FIGHTING MEANS BEING HONEST<\/h3>\n<p>Only during a good fight can you let go of your inhibitions and understand how you and your partner really feel.<\/p>\n<p>According to\u00a0Pamela Paul, author of \u201cThe Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony,\u201d compatibility of personality traits, such as beliefs and core values, comes out during a good fight. It&#8217;s when you&#8217;re heated, not holding back or restraining yourself, that you finally let the other person see how you really think and feel.<\/p>\n<div class=\"ar bF bG bH\">\n<div id=\"ad-unit_6\" data-cb-ad-id=\"\/49944529\/elite-daily\/posts\/universal\/production\" data-google-query-id=\"CPXGkIrmmd4CFUGJaAods0IOWQ\">\n<div id=\"google_ads_iframe_\/49944529\/elite-daily\/posts\/universal\/production_6__container__\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>These outbursts of truth can only come from a good, heated discussion. Without these fights, people would be getting married and having children without knowing the true feelings and innermost desires of their partners.<\/p>\n<p>In order to face the important and pressing issues that can destroy a marriage, a couple has to be completely honest and open with themselves and the values they hold most important. If these values aren&#8217;t tested until a fight occurs, then there&#8217;s no way to know what&#8217;s really worth fighting for.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>While we haven&#8217;t yet found much evidence to prove this theory, there isn&#8217;t much disproving it. We&#8217;re not suggesting you go home and pick a fight tonight; we are saying that if you are going to fight, just look at the make-up sex as the consolation prize. Maybe now it won&#8217;t be such a big deal who wins.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>www.defencewardsmatrimony.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you love me, fight with me.\u00a0If you love me, yell with me. Scream and shout with me to show me you care. Shake with me and cry with me. Become exhausted, annoyed and utterly fed up with me. Dance with me in this maddening tango of love and pain. Slam doors, punch walls and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The couple that fights together, stays together - Defence Wards Matrimony<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Quality matches from the defence community\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/the-couple-that-fights-together-stays-together\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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