{"id":749,"date":"2019-04-13T12:22:46","date_gmt":"2019-04-13T06:52:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/?p=749"},"modified":"2019-12-31T14:32:01","modified_gmt":"2019-12-31T09:02:01","slug":"the-power-of-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"540\" height=\"540\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tumblr_oq5367HLlV1vy8yroo1_540.png?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-270\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tumblr_oq5367HLlV1vy8yroo1_540.png 540w, https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tumblr_oq5367HLlV1vy8yroo1_540-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tumblr_oq5367HLlV1vy8yroo1_540-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tumblr_oq5367HLlV1vy8yroo1_540-400x400.png 400w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 540px) 100vw, 540px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Forgiveness does not erase the past, but looks upon it with compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To withhold forgiveness keeps alive emotions of hurt, anger and blame which discolour your perception of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To forgive, avoid ruminating on thoughts of being wronged. Rather, trust the power of forgiveness to heal the hurt and pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By holding on to pain and resentment, you suffer because the sorrow is intensified to keep it alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning\u00a0how to forgive\u00a0your spouse or partner is one of the most important ingredients in a successful\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">relationship<\/a>. And since to\u00a0<strong>Err is human<\/strong>, you will have plenty of opportunities to apply forgiveness in a marriage or long-term relationship, and the same holds true for your partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Relationships\u2014like the people that comprise them\u2014are dynamic, evolving things. This means change, movement, growth\u2014none of which can happen without mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Also, It is important to accept that we all have separate minds and points of view. Each and every one of us is hurt, defended, flawed and inevitably going to make mistakes. Having this perspective doesn\u2019t mean we should sit back and withstand abuse. However, if we want to enjoy a lasting relationship with someone we&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">value&nbsp;<\/a>and choose to spend our lives with, we may want to grow our ability to forgive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Enter forgiveness\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Forgiveness is a bridge that deepens&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">intimacy<\/a>;<\/li><li>Forgiveness is a balm that heals the emotional wounds that threaten to divide you and your&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">partner<\/a>.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>In practicing forgiveness, people are able to break a cycle that so many couples get into, where there is an ongoing, destructive back and forth, and no one really wins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">Couples&nbsp;<\/a>who do practice forgiveness&nbsp;show more behavioral regulation&nbsp;and have more positive motivation toward their partner. In other words, they drop the case rather than holding a grudge or harboring resentment. Instead, they put effort into maintaining a positive relationship, in which they are less hostile or punishing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Why forgive?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s a famous quote that goes: \u2018Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.\u2019&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">Forgiveness<\/a>&nbsp;isn\u2019t just about retaining harmony in your relationship; it\u2019s also about being kind to yourself. If you\u2019re not careful, anger can eat away at you and even affect your attitude towards relationships in the future, making you feel more defensive or untrusting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Building forgiveness..<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Forgiveness is a skill. Try to learn to build it into your relationship on a day to day basis. By learning to let go of the little things, you\u2019ll be able to avoid the kinds of petty conflicts that, over time, can begin to erode away at a&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">relationship<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Think about the outcome you want<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In dealing with relationship conflicts, we sometimes lose track of our goals. It\u2019s important to emphasize cooperative over competitive goals, in other words, to share the common goal of getting back to being close as opposed to the competitive goal of winning the argument. Always remember, \u201cYou may win the battle, but you\u2019ll lose the war.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try to recognize the ways you may be hurting yourself and the relationship by acting out hostility, coldness or holding a grudge. This process doesn\u2019t mean dismissing the things that matter to you, but it does mean talking about them in ways that will enhance your partner\u2019s&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/\">understanding&nbsp;<\/a>and help you stay on a track, so both of you get the outcome you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Although forgiveness represents harmony between two (or more) people, it will always be, first and foremost, a gift you give yourself.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Are you ready to make forgiveness a regular part of your relationship?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\">www.defencewardsmatrimony.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forgiveness does not erase the past, but looks upon it with compassion. To withhold forgiveness keeps alive emotions of hurt, anger and blame which discolour your perception of life. To forgive, avoid ruminating on thoughts of being wronged. Rather, trust the power of forgiveness to heal the hurt and pain. By holding on to pain<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,17,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-defencewedding","category-matrimonial","category-matrimony"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Power of Forgiveness - Defence Wards Matrimony<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Quality matches from the defence community\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Power of Forgiveness - Defence Wards Matrimony\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Quality matches from the defence community\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Defence Wards Matrimony\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/defencewardsmatrimony\/?ref=bookmarks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/defencewardsmatrimony\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-04-13T06:52:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-12-31T09:02:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.defencewardsmatrimony.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tumblr_oq5367HLlV1vy8yroo1_540.png?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" \/>\n<meta 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