Whenever we talk about marriages, the first thing that comes up on our mind is- Arranged marriage or a Love marriage?
To love and marry or marry and love?
Marriage is not just a union of two people but a coming together of two families, two social networks which are now more closely linked than ever before. An arranged marriage focuses on this family union.
Parents play the most crucial role as they are the one looking for the best bride/groom for their son or daughter. They will check if they share the same family background, socio-economic status, values, level of education, habits etc. If all these things are up to the mark and as per their preferences, they feel they can safely marry their son or daughter into this family.
Parents now rest assured that their ward will be in the safe hands and will be taken care of and live a life quite similar to their parents.
Same economic status and stability seem to be the most valued thing looked for in an arranged marriage. This might seem a little absurd to few but the value of stable marriage is undeniable.
Critics argue that the emotional and physical compatibility of the couple is ignored in such marriages and how the couples feel about each other is overlooked.
Couples are expected to first marry and then Love. Parents and family members encourage them and give them assurance by saying Love will grow in time.
Arranged marriage is an artificially created union. Hence the couple needs a lot of time to adjust. Each partner will have to learn to understand and accommodate the other and begin to appreciate the good things in the relationship.
Sometimes people enter into this type of marriage, where they know they would be unhappy just so that their parents are happy. Else it will be considered disrespectful and betrayal to their parents.
This is when your first love and then marry. Everything seems perfect, you have found your soul mate. You are going to tie a knot with this one person whom you feel you’ve known since forever.
You cannot contain your excitement.
But true love needs patience and efforts. As F. Scott Peck says, ‘Love is not effortless. On the contrary, it is effortful’. Things don’t go as smooth as they seem to. Love marriages have their own struggle. The couple does need to make adjustments, with the new family, new surroundings.
One needs to take full responsibility for his/her choice of partner. Parents or anyone else could not be blamed for if things don’t work.
Dating and marriage are two different stages of life. Unlike dating, Marriage comes with lots of responsibility which many people often fail to understand. After the first few months when the honeymoon stage is over and the day to day realities of marriage has set in, people begin to feel dissatisfied wondering if their partner still loves them. In contrast, one might enter an arranged marriage with much lower expectations and not expect everything to work out immediately.
There is no perfect formula to make a marriage work. Both arranged and love marriages have their own strengths and faults. Hence It is very difficult to decide on what type of marriage is the best. The success of any marriage depends solely on the couple, their level of understanding and compatibility.