Ways to make a military marriage work

There’s an ancient Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times” That’s the life of an Army wife. It is as much a curse as it is a blessing. But ask any Army wife, she’ll certainly say that she’d rather not have it any other way. Taking everything in their stride….the good, the bad and the occasionally ugly.

Maybe it’s because of what they say Army wives are the silent ranks, standing by their husbands and holding fort while they are away on duty. That’s a pretty important job. And yes, it’s a full-time job to be an Army wife. They are constantly moving, belong to every place the Army takes them, they are experts at packing years up in black painted boxes, staying away from husbands for years at a stretch.

The army wives belong to a special breed. They are beautiful, talented, have gumption and are resourceful; in fact, not very unlike their civil counterparts. But yes, they are extraordinary, because they are in love with a soldier. A soldier who may never return when he goes on a field posting, defending borders, including the highest war zone in the world, the Siachen Glacier. The army wife remains in the shadows, giving her soldier the moral support, taking care of the family in his absence, loving him unconditionally, knowing that to him his first love will always be the country. Yes, this bold and the beautiful woman belongs to the Silent Ranks, she is an army wife.

But there are times when this relationship starts to feel difficult and full of struggle. Military marriages aren’t always easy. Time spent apart and the stresses endured during deployments make military marriages more different than civilian ones.We are going to share with you on how to make a military marriage work amidst all the challenges.

Spend quality time together

These days time has become the most expensive thing you can give to someone. Make the best of your time together. This is the most important thing to a military marriage. Quite a bit of time is spent apart from each other. Plan romantic interludes, fun activities, and quiet time when you are together. Each one of these is important to any marriage, but even more so to military marriages where stress and worry are common. You both need time to reconnect and just be together without anything else interfering.

Be the best support system for your spouse

Be supportive of your military partner. Let him or her know you are proud of them. Don’t cause arguments about things out of their control, such as untimely postings/deployments or training courses. They most likely don’t want to leave you and go out in the field but it’s their job. You really need to understand them.

Involve yourself and keep yourself busy

Get involved with military groups and activities. Getting to know other military wives/husbands/partners will help when your partner is deployed, and is a way to have a life outside of your marriage that is all your own. Joining other military partners in groups is great support for you, you will get to explore many new things and also it will help you remain busy. They know exactly what you are going through and the guidance and advice they possess is invaluable and something that you really need.

Engage yourself in fun activities

Go shopping, go out and play with the kids in the park, you can also invite other military families over for dinner. You can’t become so engrossed in his or her career that you lose sight of yourself. Being your own person is important. After all, he/she was attracted to you in the beginning and your partner wouldn’t want you to become just an extension of themselves. Make time for yourself and keep your soul and body happy. Your partner’s strength lies in your happiness.

Plan your action before hand

Set up a plan of action for the times your partner is away. You partner will be much more at ease if they know you have everything under control while they are gone. Knowing you have help with the children, ways of having time for yourself, and family and friends close, will help your partner while they are gone. It will give you peace of mind too, because you know your partner is concentrating on the things they should be and not worrying about anything else back home.

Never stop loving

Show affection and love at all times. Let each other know you are committed no matter what, and that your love is still alive and strong. Having support and love in dangerous situations can go a long way. Surviving a military marriage takes two strong people who are willing to do whatever it takes. Being true to yourself and each other is the key to making a military marriage work. No one can destroy a relationship that has love as its foundation.

Respect and give space to your partner

There will be times when your partner is stressed out and will start to act a little different because of the work pressure. In such situations you must give time and space to your partner. This will surely help them heal and come back a lot more stronger. Respect is also one of the main ingredient for a strong relationship in any marriage. When you respect each other it is eminent that you will grow together and will have that perfect relationship that everyone long to have.

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