Ways to deal with unhealthy relationships


When thinking about marriage or the life after getting married, the kind of relationship or family that anyone would like to build is the one where there is no healing required. A kind of relationship that is filled with love, care and peace.

But life as we know doesn’t always goes our way. Sometimes you feel as if you’re stuck in the middle and that’s when you realise that everything is not under your control and you cannot handle everything.

Even in a relationship, there are times when a marriage that was expected to flourish and prosper turn in to fights and harsh arguments. The reasons could be many. It may be the in-laws day who are creating problems or may be the partners concerned lack understanding and compatibility.

Here are some of the causes of a broken marriage.

Laziness

Everyone says relationships are hard and take a lot of hard work. Well, think about it. Anything in this life that is worth having takes effort, right? I mean, unless you win the lottery, you won’t become rich without hard work.

Relationships are no different. You have to put in effort into your marriage. If you don’t, and are too lazy to keep it alive, it will die.

Selfishness

Many people are selfish to some level. But when it comes at the price of a healthy marriage, then it’s a problem. You can’t always put your needs first. You have to put your partner’s needs at least equal to – or before – your own. Otherwise it can turn into a weapon that can spoil your relationship completely.

Neglect

This goes hand-in-hand with laziness and selfishness. If you are lazy and don’t put in effort, and you are constantly selfish, then you are neglecting your partner – and your relationship as a whole.

Relationships are like plants. If you don’t water a plant, it will die. If you neglect a marriage, it will eventually end as well.

Whatever may be the reason for such unhealthy relationships, our motive today is to find the solutions to it. To find the ways in which these problems could be sorted out so that it turns into a healthy marriage.

Remember that Divorce is not the only solution to your marital issues. There are many ways which if followed can help you revive your marriage.

Take a Look at Yourself

It takes two to tango. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying before. In other words, problems in a relationship are rarely the sole responsibility of just one person.

Take a look at your behaviors and speculate how they might have contributed to the state of your marriage.

Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions

Now that you know what you did to contribute to your marital problems, own up to them. Tell your spouse how you feel, and then commit to changing your behavior immediately.

Have a Talk

This is an obvious step, but it needs to be done. You can’t map out a plan for the future if you don’t even talk about your problems to begin with.

Just Listen

While your spouse is explaining their point of view, just listen to them. Don’t talk. Don’t interrupt them. Instead, stay calm and don’t get defensive.

Make a List of Things That you Both Want to Change

In order to rebuild your marriage, things obviously need to change – on both sides. So, both of you need to write down, and talk about, what needs to be changed in the marriage.

Spend Quality Time Together

You can’t rebuild your marriage if you aren’t spending time together! It seems obvious, but you need to rediscover each other, and spending quality time talking and doing things is imperative.

Stay away from Technology

Believe it or now, technology is a huge culprit in the downfall of relationships. Whether it’s the TV, cell phone, or video games, spending too much time with technology and not each other is the kiss of death. Make sure you put that down and talk to each other on a regular basis.

Notice Any Common Patterns That Have Emerged over the Years

Relationships always develop patterns. Some are good, and some are bad. So, you need to look for recurring themes in your marriage that may have gotten you into trouble. Once you identify them, try something new instead of repeating the same actions in the future.

Conclusion

Rebuilding a marriage is not easy, but it can be done. The easiest way to have a healthy relationship is to not let it break down in the first place. However, since that’s not an option, all the tips in this article will definitely put you both on the path to resurrecting what was lost.

 

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