Everybody before getting married fantasize about finding a perfect life partner. A partner who could fulfill all their dreams and desires. Someone who is perfect in all ways. They tend to forget that this exists only in our romantic imagination, in our dreams, in the books and the movies.
Reality is harsh because in reality no such relationship exist. Making your life beautiful is all in your and your partner’s hand now. The more understanding and compatibility between you, stronger will be your relationship. Only you two can make your own happy space. You will surely come across problems and difficulties but never back down, after all ups and downs are part of life.
Expectations may sometimes become a major drawback in your married life. And to overcome this, You must trust to expect less and accept more. Try to resolve your issues as soon as possible.
There is a need of having complete transparenecy, vulnerability, acceptance and intimacy at every level of the relationship.
Resolving differences in expectations basically is to balance the levels of expectations: not setting the bar too low or demand too much. The closer we can get our expectations to line up with the truth, the less hurt we will experience.
Accept the fact that your spouse is a person with strengths and limitations – just like you.
Research has found that the longest-married couples are down-to-earth people who didn’t expect a perfect marriage and focused on enjoying their relationship while tolerating the differences between them. The key words for a life long relationship are adapt and adjust.
The words like adapt and adjust might sound traditional and not so in for today’s world. But trust me this is what will always bring back the couples together.
Also it is very important that you Do not expect your spouse to change. Don’t expect unconditional love. And don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Express your misgivings and arrive at solutions acceptable to both.
Never assume that your partner knows all your needs and wants. Learn to speak out. On no account expect your spouse to be your mirror image.
Marriage is a union between two distinct individuals.
At the end of this analysis if you have been able to differentiate between expectations that make you happy and expectations that hurt you, you have taken the first big step in the right direction.
Learn to treat your spouse with the same tenderness and respect as you did during the first months of marriage.